It is three weeks into the new year now and I am BEGINNING to think about New Year's resolutions and life changes. Having just been through chemotherapy I am now a cancer survivor. I was declared NED the first of this year. (No Evidence of Disease.) So after going through all of that plus the holidays, now I'm left with the big question, "What's next?"
Honestly I have lots of anxiety about how my life will be/look like/transpire going forward. I know I've emerged from the cancer journey a bit less inclined to just accept BS, and definitely more guarded of my own time. I also know that I have to been saved for some reason. The big questions of life (what is my purpose, why are we here, how can I leave my mark) loom large for me now, contemplating how fleeting this life could be. I thought maybe the big answers to match would automatically come to me following my ordeal. Unfortunately, it isn't that easy and I'm not going to get off that lightly.
It seems I have work to do. I have to work to clear the detritus of my life to provide a pathway for new things to enter. And that is spiritually, intellectually, physically, etc. It means carving the time out for both contemplation and execution. I'm really good at the contemplating part - it's the execution that is harder of course. What I have to do first is make the lists. What stays? What goes? What would be ideal? Yes, contemplation must come first. Then when the decisions are made, the next step is getting the family "on board" with the "new program." Another BIG challenge, because NO ONE likes change all that much. Finally is the execution of the plan and working toward the goals.
I am hopeful that the contemplations phase will bring to me the ideas I need to honor my cure, respect my body more and provide a path to self'actualization. Hmm tall order, I know. Still, I have been determined in the past and can be again. The journey on the back side of cancer begins with small steps, like every other journey does too.
Happy New Year!